Why Julie & Julia Can Suck It

On Saturday night I sat down to watch Julie & Julia with my best gal. Of course, anyone familiar with my body of work assumes that it was my idea, but I swear Marie A. is the one who brought the DVD home.

We watched Julie & Julia through the lens of two bloggers. One of us gets paid to make fairly obvious jokes about sports on a blog - the other writes about 18th century France for fun. We've both been blogging for years now. And maybe that's why the movie was absolutely maddening.

The performances were fine. We had both heard that Amy Adams' Julie portion of the movie sucked while Meryl Streep pwneffed the role of Julia Child. I though made-up-to-appear frumpy Amy Adams was just fine. They gave her a bad early 21st-century haircut and decided she would wear baggy clothes as her character ingested 3500 butter-soaked calories every day for a year. Personally, I thought Streep's Child was cartoonish, but that's Julia Child.

So all that - the main characters, the supporting characters, the dialog - was just fine. It was your normal, light romantic comedy with a little twist of telling two different, but similar stories at once. Good for them.

I HATED Julie & Julia. As a blogger, it offended me. It angered me. It made me want to look up the IP addresses of every single one of her commenters and fly around the country kicking their asses like the end of *spoiler alert* Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. This idiot housewife got a fucking book deal because there was an article on her in the New York Times? Not just one, but 60 literary agents and publishers called that day? Is this really how it happened? Why are people so stupid? She wrote about recreating a cookbook and multiple people with the power to do so decided that it should be turned into a book? Why would you turn that into a book?

READ THE BLOG. ITS FREE. WHAT MORE COULD SHE ADD IN A BOOK? WHY!?!?!?

In the end, the movie made me both mad and depressed. Don't watch this movie alone. Or preferably, at all.